


You Can't Buy Happiness

by ObTeRi



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Medieval, Angst, Coming Out, Drugs are somehow involved, English isn't my first language so beware, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mingi is Constantly Sad (I'm sorry), Mingi only deserves best, Original Character(s), Slight Smut (I guess?), The OC doesn't have a major role though, Yeosang is mentioned once, Yunho is a Potion Seller, Yunho is a sweetheart, mentions of smoking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-22
Updated: 2020-09-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26586988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObTeRi/pseuds/ObTeRi
Summary: Yunho is a living angel, so they call him. He heals people from injuries and diseases, lets them forget about their concerns in his tavern. His regular, Mingi, is a strange case: He visits him every day, drowning his worries in "Happiness".Until he finally finds his own.OrYunho constantly lives in summer. It's a welcoming warmth, something he feels comfortable in, but at some point everyone needs a change of season.Mingi is autumn for him, and in exchange, he brings him the sun.
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	You Can't Buy Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, thanks for clicking on this ff, I really appreciate it :3
> 
> Here‘s a Spotify playlist for this fic. It was supposed to be in a random order but then I decided to put the songs according to the mood, even though some people read faster/slower than others and the mood swings here happen really fast. In the end it‘s still your decision to listen to it or not :) 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2ehmRv9uhuvTsIcTJa5utv?si=pJRdtPcqTkKbldISZ1gR-w
> 
> ALSO:  
> As I mentioned in the tags I'm not an English native speaker so please tell me about any mistakes you found! I'm happy about any help to improve my English (and my writing as well so if you have any criticism regarding that feel free to let me know).
> 
> I hope you enjoy :)

"He's a regular, right?", the man to his right whispers. His breath faintly smells like the potion Yunho sold him a minute ago.   
"Who are you talking about? I have many regulars", Yunho responds while wiping a flask clean. The potion seller often let's his costumers drink the liquid immediately so he can keep the flasks.   
"That guy with the dark red hair. Pointy nose."  
It's a description good enough for Yunho to know who his costumer is referring to without looking: Mingi with his striking red hair, long but thin nose and small eyes is very recognizable. Additional to that he owns a very loud and cheerful personality, at least when he drinks Yunho's "Happiness"-Potion, which he buys every day.   
The redhead is currently immersed in a conversation with strangers, a bright smile adorning his face. It's a smile Yunho got used to a long time ago, since the first time he has visited his tavern, which must have been approximately a year ago.  


"Yes, he is. Why do you want to know?", Yunho asks curiously.   
"I don't know, I just thought it's strange that he is here every time I decide to buy something from you. He's also very -", a heavy cough rummages through the man and makes him bend over a little, his back shaking.  
As Yunho watches with empathy, he takes a handful of herbs from underneath the counter and shoves them into the man's chest before someone could see.  
"Put one into hot water, stir it for two minutes and then drink. Repeat it at least two times a week", he advices with a smile.  
The man looks at him with surprise written in his face, before it's his turn to break into a smile.  
"You're a living angel. God bless you, my son."  


It's when the sun has already set two hours ago and all of his customers left that Yunho decides to close his tavern. It is by no means a typical tavern, but more like a little hospital: He sells a wide variety of potions, such as healing ones, ones that make you feel full so you don't eat much, some that make objects change the colour when you pour the liquid over them. Last but not least, he sells "Happiness" in really little flasks. "Happiness" is his best selling item. People love to give this as a present or drink it with friends, it has similar aspects as alcohol, except for the fact that you still have control of all of your senses. He also treats patients here every Thursday.  


As he steps out from behind the counter he lays eyes on Mingi, who's head must have fallen down on the wooden table, apparently sleeping. His quiet snores fill the otherwise silent room.  
Yunho can't help but shake his head; this guy really knows no shame. If Yunho would ever fall asleep in a public space he'd straight out die out of embarrassment.  
He'd normally let the redhead sleep, he doesn't mind the customer, but it is Monday and he planed to drive to the next village early in the morning to buy more herbs. His tavern is always closed on Tuesdays anyway.  
So he makes his way to Mingi and gently places a hand on his shoulder. Mingi immediately twitches and pulls away from the touch, a painstruck expression following soon after.  
"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?", the portion seller asks with a panic-strained voice, his eyes shining with honest worry. Mingi looks up at him in confusion, it seems as if he forgot where he is, when he finally recognizes the owner of the tavern and starts to blush.  
"Did I fall asleep here? Oh my god I'm so sorry, I hope I wasn't a bother."  
"Dont worry, it's fine."  
Relief visibly washes over Mingi. He doesn't seem to care about hiding his feelings at all.   
"Good. I'll make my way then."  
Just when he is about to stand up, Yunho shakes his head vehemently.  
"You still have to tell me about what happened to your shoulder. You clearly were in pain."  
"Oh, yes, but it's nothing, really."  
Yunho isn't one to push people. If they don't want to talk or him to help then he usually let's go. On the other hand he kind of knows how it is when people simply look away because it's more comfortable, when helping could be too bothersome.  
So he answers: "Okay, but I could help, I'm a healer. If you need something I'm here."  
Mingi looks up to the slightly taller boy. His gaze finds Yunho's for a split second, then he suddenly avoids his eyes and turns his head to the right. Long fingers clench around the hem of his expensive shirt out of nervousness and he swallows.  
"I won't charge you."  
Yunho regrets the sentence the moment it leaves his lips, what is he thinking? A normal checkup plus treatment normally resembles the price of several potions, depending on the injury. In addition to this he also already gave away herbs for free!  
Damn him and his stupid empathy, really.  


While he is silently sulking, Mingi seems to fight a inner conflict. Then, after some time passing, he finally nods.  
"Okay, but I'll pay nevertheless."  
Even though Yunho is happy that Mingi agrees he's also glad that he gets the money. Sure, his business is going well, but not well enough to treat patients for free regularly.  
The tavern owner suggests that Mingi may sit again while he gets the necessary instruments and potions if needed. He walks into the storage room to get a grip of aids, disinfectants and his medical book. As he returns he notices that Mingi has gotten rid of his shirt, which is sprawled out on the bench he's sitting on.  
Yunho immediately spots the burn mark on Mingis shoulder, he must have accidentally touched them as he tried to wake the redhead up. The mark is nearly as big as Yunho's hand, the skin shines in a unhealthy pink and even shows little blisters.  
"How could you wear a shirt with this?", Yunho asks shocked. It must have hurt a lot.  
He carries a chair behind Mingi, facing his back, and let's himself take place.  
"Is it this bad?", Mingi asks sheepishly.  
"This is nothing to take half-heartedly. This could leave a scar", Yunho scolds him.  
"I'll need to make a paste. In the meantime you can tell me what happened." So he walks to the store room again and gets a pair of different liquids and herbs to squash in a mortar.  
"It won't take long to make it but it will hurt while applying", he informs the patient, who nods slowly.  
"So, tell me, how did you get this burn on your shoulder?"  
"A friend of mine accidentally poured boiling water on me."  
Yunho halts and pulls up one eyebrow.  
"This sounds like a super lame excuse."  
"Yah, I'm not lying!"  
Mingi‘s little pout makes Yunho chuckle silently.  
"Okay, okay, I believe you . It's nothing of my business anyways. As long as it really was water."  
He finishes the ointment and warns Mingi about the touch beforehand. Then he dips his disinfected fingers into the paste and gently spreads it on the burn, careful to not open the blisters.  
The redhead let's out a silent cry first, his body instinctively flinching away, but he manages to get himself together and keep still. It makes Yunho feel bad every time. Sure, he knows that he can't avoid the pain but there was no way to get used to the painful sounds his patiens make.   
Now that Yunho focuses on Mingis skin even more he discovers several little scratching marks, which must come from a woman's fingernails. He isn't very surprised to find these, Mingi is a admittedly handsome man with his defined jawline, thin body and perfect skin, so it's logical that he has a healthy sex life, right? Well, if you wanna call scratching marks healthy, that is.  


After he finishes applying the paste he puts a moist bandage over the wound and wraps it around Mingi to make sure that it stays in this position.  
"So, Mingi", he taps on the little scratching marks on his back, "what are those?"  
At first Mingi does not seem to understand, then realization fully hits him and his neck suddenly turns a dark red.  
Yunho thinks it's adorable.  
"I - well -"  
"I was just joking to lift the mood", he laughs. Mingi turns around to look at him unbelievingly before his lips turn into a wide grin that makes his eyes turn into little crescents.  
Yunho nearly chokes on his laughter.  
"How much do I owe you?"  
"Oh, let me think..." He counts the price together as fast as possible. It runs out to be far from cheap, but Mingi doesn't seem to care and hands him the amount without hesitation.  
"You should come by again tomorrow. To change the bandage. If you aren't free then the day after will do."  
"No, I'll be here tomorrow", Mingi answers with a blending smile. He grips Yunhos hand with both of his and shakes it ambitiously.  
"Thanks man."  
Seeing how the man warmed up to him makes Yunho feel all happy inside. He tells him to take good care and when Mingi is gone he is finally able to close the tavern properly.  
Just when he's about to turn the sign on the door he freezes.  
He told Mingi to come by tomorrow even though he did plan to go out of town.  


Goddammit.

~

A new day starts and so does Yunho's routine. The same jam bread with milk, preparing portions for an hour, and cleaning the tables. Even though he does not plan to upen the tavern today he cleans the floor as well, simply for the reason that he does it every day at the same tame.   
The only thing that is out of his normal schedule is Mingi‘s visit in the late afternoon. Not that Mingi told him when he will come but Yunho knows that he never appears before 5pm.   
So his "shopping" must be done fast.

He is back at 4:30, Mingi arrives just ten minutes later. It takes some time for Yunho to notice his presence, so Mingi inspects the "closed" sign with visible confusion at first before the owner hurries to open the door.   
"Hey, sorry for letting you wait, come in!"   
To show his sincerity he greets him with an apologetic smile, which Mingi does not return. He only follows Yunho's instruction and steps in.   
This reaction honestly surprises him a little, he doesn't believe that Mingi is actually angry at him for not noticing him earlier.   
"Bad day?", he asks carefully.   
To his relief, Mingi sighs and nods.   
"It's that obvious?"   
"Well yeah, but just a tiiiiiiiny bit", Yunho jokes and walks behind the counter. The other male follows him soon after and sits down on a stool.   
"You want something to drink? Or "Happiness" again?"  
"The regular", is the answer.   
So he pours him the liquor into the glass. It takes only 30 ml to show it's effect.   
His costumer swallows it with one big gulp and pushes the glass back to Yunho, who picks it up and cleans it.   
"So, let me see your burn. Did it start to hurt?"   
"Only when I tried to sleep on my back. It was fine otherwise."  
Yunho helps him to get out of his shirt. He isn't sure why he does, he simply reached out to the other by instinct and does his job, or so he tells himself. His fingertips unintentionally brush over Mingis milky-white skin, which feels as soft as silk. To be honest, looking at Mingi, he feels kind of jealous. Except for the smaller waist Mingi is built like some greek statue. Not that he is that bad himself but Mingi is... Stunning. There is no better way to describe him.   
"What?", Mingi asks, leaning back. The redhead's brown eyes glow as if he knows what Yunho is thinking. However, they don't show suspiciousness, he does not seem to think of whatever Yunho is doing as a crime. They surprisingly show understanding.   
"N-Nothing", Yunho mumbles under his breath and begins to take of the bandage. The skin under the white fabric is still red but has less blisters compared to the day before.   
"Hold on, I'll get the bandage and ointment."  


After repeating the treatment and successfully wrapping the bandage around him Mingi pulls his shirt back over his head. In the meantime "Happiness" has fully affected Mingi, resulting in him smiling brightly and drumming an unknown tune on the counter with his fingertips.   
"It heals little by little, I will apply the ointment again in two days if that's okay with you?", he asks Mingi.   
"I'll be here. I'm always here", the redhead answers with a laugh.   
"About that... Why are you here every day? Not that I‘d mind, it is just very noticeable."  
"Now that you say it, we have never really talked even though I actually am here every day", Mingi thinks out aloud and by that chose to ignore Yunho's question.   
"You talk a lot to the other costumers."  
"Because I normally talk a lot when I'm in a good mood. Plus you're busy working most of the time."  
He knows that Mingi is right, he doesn't talk with his costumers on a daily basis because he has to work a lot and in addition to that they mostly don't stay long. Most people only buy a potion and leave.   
"Well, you can talk with me whenever you want."  
The smile from Mingi that follows is so pretty that Yunho wishes to freeze the moment in order to look at it forever.  


"Hey can I ask you something?"   
"Sure, what is on your mind?"   
"What is your name? You never mentioned it."  
"You've been coming to this place for one year now and you still don't know my name?", the potion seller laughs.   
"Yep. It's time for me to know."   
"My name is Yunho."  
"Okay, Yunho."  
The way Mingi says his name reminds him of a leaf gently twirling in the wind in autumn before it finally touches the ground.

~

He does show up the next day. And the day after. Nothing has changed about his visits, except for the fact that they talk more often and Mingi's burn is close to be healed completely.   
"It fortunately won't leave a mark."   
"Thanks, Yunho! I bet it would've if you wouldn't have taken care of me", Mingi says while putting a spoonful of soup in his mouth. He has brought some over from home to thank Yunho and the potion seller has gratefully consumed it in one go. Yunho doesn't get to eat homecook meals that often since he is a terrible cook.   
"Did you make the soup? Or your friend who poured freaking boiling water over your shoulder?", he asks while bandaging him.   
A loud laugh escapes Mingi, making him shake from amusement.   
"Hey, don't move, I can't continue of you shake that much", he gets scolded.   
"My wife made it. I'm a horrible cook but she's a professional."  
He returnes to slurping down his soup loudly.  


Yunho stops in his movement.   
Wife?   
This explains the scratching marks, sure, but Mingi doesn't wear a ring. He has never mentioned his wife before. Why didn't he tell him beforehand? How come he happens to be here every damn evening when he's supposed to be home with his wife?   
Why did he -   
Yunho's fingers start to tremble ever the slightest and he has no idea why. He shouldn't be so surprised, it's normal for a man in Mingi's age to be married. Mingi is also handsome, so why shouldn't he have a wife?   
And why does he feel so bothered by it?  


"Yunho, everything alright? Did I shock you by revealing that my cooking probably tastes like the ointment you're applying? I know that I look just like the perfect chef but -"   
"I'm fine."  
He knows that his voice betrays him, that you can clearly hear that he is definitely anything else but fine. Mingi seems to be oblivious about his change in mood and continues to chatter happily.

~

Yunho successfully avoids to confront himself about his feelings most of the time. It is not normal to react like that when your friend - yes, he already calls him a friend - tells him he's married, he knows that, shouldn't he be happy for him? Isn't it great for him to be married, to be happy?   
There remains some doubt about Mingi being happy in the back of his mind. Maybe he only, because of some strange reason, he does not want to believe that Mingi is happy with some unknown woman. On the other hand he always thought that Mingi must have some problems: Why else would he come here every day to buy himself "Happiness" if not to drown his worries in it?  


He does not voice any of these concerns though. Whether to himself and especially not to Mingi. Because he does not have any other friends besides the redheaded costumer he also has no one to talk about it as well.   
So he decides to stay quiet.

~

Time passes and their friendship grows stronger. Yunho gets to know some of Mingis friends, which are pretty chaotic and loud but also very nice, and Yunho tells him about his past as a sailor in return. Mingi has laughed at him at first because he really can't imagine him in a sailor uniform but he slowly became interested.   
"I never set foot an a ship but I always wanted to. Traveling across the sea sounds fun."  


Then there is this day. Mingi already arrives in a super bad mood, one Yunho hasn't witnessed yet.   
"Hey, Mingi, are you alright? Did something happen?", he asks him straight away.   
Mingi simply shakes his head and avoids eye-contact with Yunho.   
"I don't want to talk about it Yunho."  
The tavern owner takes a short look around him. Fortunately there are just a small group of men who begin to stand up and leave, so he guides them outside and turns the sign to "closed" while Mingi takes his reserved place on the counter.   
"Why did you close now? Its not even 7."  
"I know, but I wish to talk about this with you. Listen, I know something must be happening with you for years, people don't come here every day to buy" Happiness" without a reason."  
Instead of walking behind the counter as he usually does he takes a seat next to Mingi.   
The redhead pushes his eyebrows together in annoyance.   
"I told you that I'm fine."  
"I know you aren't."  
"I'll be if you sell me the potion."  
"And I won't do that."  
"I'm your costumer!"   
At this point Mingi's voice starts to sound frustrated, desperate even.   
"But before that you're my friend."  
This leaves Mingi speechless for a second, a quite rare sight.   
"So please, tell me what's wrong."  
Yunho tries, he really does. Mingi is his best friend - his only friend - and he really needs to stop buying this stupid potion.   
"You can't buy real happiness, Mingi. It's just a stupid potion. The effect will waver in only two hours, that's not helpful."   
"It is", Mingi insists.   
"I'm the one who makes it and you shouldn't -"   
"Just give me the damn potion already, please!"  
Yunho withdraws with a shocked expression. He never ever thought that someone could get addicted to "Happiness", if he would have imagined, he wouldn't have started to sell it. That's not how he wants to make his money.   
"It does not work, Mingi."  
"I told you it does, why don't you -"   
"No it doesn't. It's fake. It's just some weak alcohol with herbs to make it taste like a potion. It only works because you want it to!"  
Without realizing it he has slowly raised his voice until he practically screams at the dumbass in front of him. Said dumbass looks back at him with horror and disbelief in his eyes, as if he just told him that the world is actually flat.   
"You're lying. You must be."  
Yunho shakes his head.   
"No. And now that you know, I hope that you will realize that you have to face your problems sooner or later. They don't disappear, just as you can't buy happiness. Let me help."  
By instinct and in order to emphazise his words he takes Mingi's hands. The redhead immediately flinches and takes his hands away.   
Yunho can feel the hurt crawl inside of him, threatening to swallow him whole, but he chooses to ignore it. He doesn't comment on Mingi's action.   
And he waits.  


"I can't tell you", Mingi whispers. His voice so faint that Yunho barely understands him right.   
"Why not?"   
"You will hate me."  
He looks up at Yunho, his eyes glistening with fresh tears not daring to fall yet. The potion seller feels the urge to wipe them off his oh so pretty face, to maintain the flawless, porcelain-white skin.   
"I could never hate you, Mingi. I'm here for you."  
Hope makes it's way into Mingi's eyes, the fear tries to fight it down. The inner conflict in the other man slowly appears on the outside: He fumbles around the hem of his shirt again, a habit of Mingi he has witnessed multiple times.   
"Do you promise it? That this friendship has no conditions?"   
Yunho nods with confidence.  


"My wife wants a child."  
Well, Yunho is surprised, to say the least. By the way Mingi feared to reveal his feelings he thought he might have killed someone.  
"And you don't want one?", he asks carefully.   
"I don't know, but that's not the point. The point is that I don't want one with her. I don't want her to be my wife, never wanted it. My parents planned this marriage for me because she is wealthy and pretty, I got to meet her on our wedding day. It's not like she ain't nice but I don't love her. Whether she loves me or doesn't, I don't know, but I pretend to like her every day and I have to kiss her and sleep with her even though I don't want to at all. When I finish work I just step by at home and immediately come here because I don't want to be there with her."  
Mingi's voice cracks at one point and he breaks into sobs. Yunho listens attentively and slowly caresses Mingi's back with his hands. The redhead doesn't try to escape his touch this time.  
"Why don't you tell your parents? Will they not understand?"  
Yunho is aware of the fact that it's very unconventional to do a divorce and his parents most probably won't agree. But then, holding Mingi, who is actually so tall but looking smaller than ever, he couldn't imagine how his parents could possibly say no. Mingi is so unhappy and he definitely can't go on like this.   
"No."  
"Even if you find another girl? One you actually like?"   
This makes Mingi stop in his crying. Once again, his gaze finds Yunho's, his cheeks covered in a trail of tears, every single one a proof of his misery.   
"You don't understand, Yunho."  
"Then make me understand."  
"There will never be a woman."  
"I- what dou you mean?", Yunho asks in confusion.

Mingi's lips start to quiver. His is voice is just a shallow version of a breath, as he says:   
"I don't like women. I like men."

It takes Yunho several seconds to process what he's heard, Mingi silently stays in his embrace, from which Yunho jerks out the moment he fully understands, leaving Mingi alone in his seat with the most painful expression he ever saw.   
"No."   
His friend does not even try to convince him otherwise, but breaks out in tears again, sobbing silently while wrapping his hands around his torso, as if in trying to protect him from the words that Yunho throws at him.   
"You must be kidding, right? It's disgusting for men to like men, everybody knows that. It's not normal. Are you sure you aren't just confused because you don't love your wife? Please, look at me."   
Mingi doesn't dare to do so.   
"It isn't some mood, I've known it for years, even before I got married", he replies while looking at the floor.   
"Then leave. I won't tell anyone but you can't-"   
"Okay."   
Without looking back, Mingi stumbles out of the tavern, leaving behind a furious Yunho, who feels like he just lost the only thing that made his life worth living.   
Which he did.

~

The next morning is hell. His head buzzes uncomfortably, promising a heavy headache soon. It honestly doesn‘t suprise him since he didn‘t sleep at all. All the information from the day before were too much for his brain, his heart even, to fully process.  
Mingi is gay. He likes men. As in, finding them sexually attractive.  
There is the buzz again, making him groan in pain. He gets up from his bed in order to drink some headache-potion. It tastes bitter, which fits the flavour of the revelation yesterday.  
„I will not think about him anymore“, he tells himself in some sort of hope to forget his now former best friend. Well, his only friend.

Yunho starts working as always, preparing the tavern for costumers and refilling containers. His hands and mind are used to the work but not to the silence anymore: Loud smiles and beautiful words fill the void he tries to maintain. The void is what he wants, the emptiness is what he has known for so long, so how is it possible that one single person was able to change his surroundings so much? He looks around, spotting all the colour that Mingi has brought to his tavern: Lovely drawings of the landscape somewhere far away, which the redhead has bought while being at work, tiny figures littered all over the shelves, and colourful flasks he got for Yunho‘s birthday.

„They make the place look more vivid, don‘t you agree?“, he has asked Yunho while looking at the newly decorated tavern proudly.  
„Yes, they do. You have an eye for pretty things“, Yunho has answered, putting an arm around his best friend.  
Mingi has looked at him fondly.  
„Guess you‘re right.“

Yunho shudders, ending in him dropping a flask. It makes contact with the floor and breaking into thousands of little pieces.  
„Dammit“, he curses and bows to pick up the shards.  
He doesn‘t believe how intimate he has been with Mingi. The man has acted completely normal, there has been no way for him to ever realize this on his own.  
Yunho halts in his motions and looks at the glass in his hand. Even they remind him of Mingi, of the tears falling down his petite face, trying to blink them away in some affort to stay strong.  
He throws the pieces back at the floor, where they seem to scatter away in all directions. Raindrops in a thunder during autumn.  
But Mingi isn‘t here anymore, so there will be no autumn for him.

~

Mingi shoves his presence back in his mind all the time like a ghost hunting him down. Maybe it‘s just his guilt coming for him in form of Mingi‘s bubblegum laughs, but what does he even have to feel guilty for? It‘s Mingi‘s own fault for…  
He isn‘t even able to end the sentence because, is it really his fault after all? Maybe he was just born like this, not being able to like women but men, just as others are born deaf or with white hair?  
Either way, Mingi being gay hasn‘t really made a difference. This is a stark contrast to what people tell about gay people: It‘s told that they are filthy on sight, easily recognizable, they don‘t care abot ethics, moral, or religion.  
Not a single aspect applies to Mingi. Not a single one. He is everything but filthy, always careful about his looks, and helping people whenever he could.  
There was just this one thing that keeps bothering Yunho: That Mingi would look at men like others look at women. That he would even sleep with one.  
This thought irks him the wrong way all the time and he isn‘t able to understand why. On the other hand he probably doesn‘t even have to explain himself, right? Everyone here thinks the same way, he has never met one soul defending gays-  
„Mingi must feel real lonely then“, his mind tells him secretly.  
Ice floods his veins but he chooses to ignore it.

Then the nights come and get the best of him. It‘s the time of the say when all of the silence around him crushes down on him and robs him of his senses. He misses talking, he misses laughing, to cut it short: He misses Mingi. At some point he thinks that he doesn‘t mind Mingi being gay, it wouldn‘t affect their friendship after all. He also needed at least two weeks to find out that Mingi has a wife.  
Suddenly, an ugly feeling makes it‘s way on the surface of the sea of his emotions. He can‘t name it but he knows that it‘s something he has faced since he met Mingi pretty often.  
Thinking about Mingi and his wife makes him uncomfortable.

~

Time passes again. Yunho eats his bread with jam and drinks milk, cleans the tables, the floor. Opens his tavern every day but Tuesdays, on which he visits the nearby village to buy herbs from time to time. He's nice to his costumers, a living angel, as they call him.  


He doesn't think he resembles an angel in the slightest. Angels don't make mistakes like this and feel as bad as it can get afterwards.   
Angels don't betray their friends, making them feel hurt and rejected.   
Angels probably don't like their best friend and realize it when it's way to late.  


Mingi has always been an open book to everyone. Easy to read. Yunho is quite the opposite: No one would know his intentions and feelings, not even himself. It took him tons of depressed nights, him missing Mingi's deep voice and cute nose, and lonely evenings in the tavern to realize that he likes his former best friend. To realize that he is no different than Mingi, even though he has been disgusted whith himself at first. Liking a man this way is something different, something you can‘t be prepared for if everyone around you wants you to be a certain way, normal, as they call it. However, how could he possibly change the way he simply is? And why would it even be wrong to like men? He is not hurting anyone in the process. There‘s no reason for people to hate him, for him to hate Mingi, just because of how he is and feels.  
It took him so long to understand that.  
He has tried not to, to stubbornly persist on his belief that being gay was abnormal and wrong. That‘s just how he has been told, educated, lived even.  
But there has been no escape from the feeling of loss and want he feels thinking about the redhead.

He hates the way he patiently waits for Mingi at 5pm, hoping desperately that he would fill the void in the tavern and his being with laughter and toothy grins. He hates how he always feels lonely even though the tavern is full of people, but worth nothing without the mop of curly red hair in it. Most of all he hates himself for letting this opportunity, which happens to have the name Mingi, slip so easily. It could have been his way out of this damn routine filled with nothing but jam in the morning and strangers in the evening. It could have been his possibility to find real happiness.  


~

  
"He hasn't visited in a long time, hasn't he? What was his name again... Mingi?"  
The old man downed his "Happiness" to celebrate that has gotten rid of that nasty cold thanks to Yunho.  
The potion seller is surprised that the old man still remembers. Nobody has ever mentioned Mingi since he's gone.  
"I don't think he'll come again", he shortly bids back but tries to sound not to harsh.  
"Isn't he a friend of yours? You both were talking all the time, so I assumed..."  
"Well, we had a very big fight and he probably doesn't want to see me again." While saying this, he turns around to sort in all flasks and other glasses on purpose so the old man can't see his face.  
"Do you want to see him? A friendship is something great and shouldn't be destroyed over one fight."  
"Of course I want to meet him again but I hurt his feelings pretty bad, so I don't think he'll forgive me."  
"I wouldn't forgive myself if I were him", he silenty thinks.   
"In order to hurt someone so bad you must mean a lot to him first. He might think you are worth it."  
This makes him think. Would Mingi really be able to forgive him? After all the things he said to him?  
Does he really wanna find out?  


~

  
It's one of those nights again. He tries to find a comfortable position to no avail, daydreams of what could have been hunting him. Mingi's chuckle ringing in his ears, him kissing those plump lips until they are all red and swollen. More touching, more silky-smooth skin on his hands and sinful sighs coming from both of them.  
Yunho tries not to think about this because he feels filthy afterwards, he knows he will. However, there's no escape from his wandering thoughts.  
It's his first time feeling the thrill of imagining to have sex with someone. He has had sex with women before but has never felt any interest in them as a potential partner. Back then he has done it for the physical pleasure, simply because it felt good to have someone riding you, but it didn't bring him any mental satisfaction.  
With Mingi it was different. Or it would have been.  


More sleepless nights follow soon after and his mind begins to destroy itself from guilt. Every fiber of his being feels guilty and sickening. He simply wants it to stop, he wants Mingi back, even if Mingi decides to be friends only. Maybe it would be enough to see him one more time, he doesn't know. There's a possibility that Mingi will hate him, rightfully so, but nothing could be worse than how he is feeling right now. Yunho knows that it is egotistical of him to beg Mingi for forgiveness only because he wants to feel better. It isn't only that though. He really wants to know how Mingi has been doing, if he has sorted everything out with his parents and his wife, and he wants to take the pain from Mingi of living in a world where not a single soul accepts him the way it is.  
He wants to help.  


~ 

  
So he decides to close the tavern until he finds Mingi. He has no idea where the redhead lives or works, he doesn't even know what he is doing for a living. The only thing Mingi told him is that he lives in this town as well, so he starts searching.  
Every single day.  
The potion seller visits filled streets and large places and finds it helpful to be that tall. Fortunately Mingi is just as tall and will stand out of the crowd with his red hair like no one else.  
The first day was not successful, which honestly doesn't surprise him. His unlucky days pile up until he's on day 17 and is frustrated enough to ask around for Mingi.  


When he isn't searching for the redhead he sells his potions on an impromptu sales booth, since he has to gain some money for food and water somehow. The large mass of people around his booth honestly isn't his thing at all, sometimes he even thinks about his tavern lovingly, but he grows accustomed to it after a while.   
He sleeps out in the woods most of the time. It is surprisingly nice to do so, to escape all the humans on the streets.   
Sometimes he watches the crowns of the trees and listens to them whispering in the wind. He finds it mesmerizing.   
A sound breaks the spell, something, most likely a branch, breaks under somethings weight, and Yunho jerks up. The tavern owner has heard about the rumours of thieves striving through the woods but chose to ignore them, since he didn't plan sleeping in some kind of motel every night. There isn't enough money for him to do so.  


He hides behind a little bush and takes a glance through the serried leafs.   
A hand with a cigarette. Long, thin legs. Red hair.   
Adrenaline rushes through his veins as he recognizes Mingi, who hasn't noticed his presence yet. The tall man is leaning against some tree, smoking - Yunho never knew that Mingi smokes, or maybe he started doing it lately - and closing his eyes. Dark circles under his eyes a proof of his exhaustion.   
Yunho isn't able to think straight. In fact, he doesn't think at all, only feels, happiness and pure euphoria wash over him, then the worry and panic follow.  


All this doesn‘t matter anymore when he stumbles out from his hideout and locks gaze with Mingi.   
The redhead looks at him and is close to screaming with panic, he is probably just scared of his sudden appearance, as Yunho violently waves his hands.   
"It's just me, Yunho!"   
This makes Mingi calm down a little bit, but the panic doesn't leave his face.   
Without listening to Yunho any further he turns around and tries to leave, but Yunho follows him hurriedly and leaps at him, resulting in him grabbing his wrist.   
„I know that you don't want to see me but please let me explain myself", Yunho begs.   
The other male turns his head to face him but doesn't look him in the eyes.   
"You made very clear about what you think of me. I don't need any further explanation."  
His heart feels so heavy, like an anchor keeping him away from what he really wants. Suddenly he realizes that, even after these two devastating months of missing Mingi and thinking what to possibly tell him, he isn't fully prepared. Not for this changing point in his life.  
"I - no I don't -"  
"Spare me with this."  
Mingi tries to escape Yunho's grip but the tavern owner holds onto him for dear life.  
"Please, Please listen to me."  
Something wet rolls down his cheek and he knows it's not rain.  
Mingi's eyes widen in surprise. Then Yunho let's go of his wrist, hoping the other wouldn't run away on an instant.   
When Mingi stays, Yunho let's out a breath he didn't know he was holding back. He wishes that he kind of prepared his words beforehand because standing here with just his feelings to be laid out scares him. A lot.   
"I'm sorry about what I said. You must have felt so betrayed and hurt because of me. I know that I can't take back what I said but you should know that I don't think like this anymore. The fact that you like men changes nothing about you, I was just so, so stupid to think it would."  
More tears threaten to fall but he pulls himself back together. If Mingi forgives him then he should do it because he feels Yunho's sincerity, not because he pities him.   
"Maybe I can't make the hurt of the past two months disappear but I want to make it up to you. In any way you want. If you don't want to see me anymore then I will understand and I'll leave you alone, I promise."  
Fresh air finally fills his lungs again as he waits for Mingi to respond. There isn't much for him to say right now, he hopes that everything was enough -   
Mingi pulls him into a bone-crushing hug and makes him stop his thoughts. All of his worries get squeezed out of him by Mingi and make space for relief.   
"I forgive you. Thank you for telling me", Mingi murmurs.   
For a split second Yunho believes he must have misunderstood, that maybe Mingi was kidding him. No human being could forgive him so easily and thank him afterwards for apologizing, right?   
"You're the angel here", Yunho says quietly and wraps his arms around the back of the man he loves more than anything.   
"What was that?", Mingi responds with a chuckle made in heaven.   
"Nothing. I missed you so much."  
Yunho buries his face in the crane of Mingi's neck, who starts to let him go slowly.  


"So, we're back to being friends, huh?", the redhead concludes.   
Now is the time for his second confession. Saying this is not as hard as apologizing but still scares him. Just because Mingi likes men doesn't mean that he likes Yunho, but even if he doesn't, Yunho will be fine. He trusts the redhead enough to stay with him nevertheless, if not as his partner, then as his friend. That must be enough.   
"I actually hoped that maybe we could..."   
Yunho can't imagine how hard it must have been for Mingi to confess that he likes men. This right now is already one of the hardest things he has ever done.   
"I - I hoped we could be more. As in me being your boyfriend."   
He squeezes his eyes shut, preparing himself mentally for getting rejected. There might be a tiny chance that Mingi reciprocates his feelings, sure, but he still fears that he doesn't.   
Mingi takes his sweet time to answer, so Yunho carefully opens his eyes and finds a fully blushing Mingi in front of him.   
His heart melts at the sight.   
Then, without a warning, Mingi takes a step back and distrust overshadows his face again.   
"You are making fun of me, right? It's probably fucking funny to mess around with me. I thought you really meant it, Yunho, how could you do this to me again?"   
His body starts to tremble the way it did back in the tavern, biting his lip in anger and pain.   
The cigarette, long forgotten, lays between their feet.   
"No I mean it, I really want to be your boyfriend! I know it took me way too long to realize that I do and maybe it is hard to believe me but you have to, please. I'm not lying to you or myself anymore. The last two months without you were the hardest in my life, I missed you so fucking much."   
To emphazise his words he cupped Mingis face in his hands, making him look at Yunho. He may not be able to convince him through his words but he hopes that his eyes tell Mingi everything he needs to know.  


Minutes pass which feel like hours. The air is thick around them, filled with unspoken words between them. Yunho can feel his heartbeat rummage in his ribcage and hears Mingi's do the same. Mingi's face is hot between his hands, once again reminding him of the variety of emotion that must flood through the male. Then Mingi's gaze flicks to Yunho's lips and he carefully leans in.   
Somehow the potion seller knows what's coming but still isn't prepared when their noses brush against each other, so he twitches away an inch. Mingi stops in his tracks, his eyelids flickering open like leaves in a autumn breeze.   
Yunho sometimes can't believe how beautiful the man in front of him is. Everything about him is elegance and clumsiness at the same time, loud noises and silence underneath.   
He wants to have all of him, nevermind how selfish it might be.   
His thumbs gently caress Mingi's cheeks before he leans in for a short peck on the lips. It doesn't take long for Mingi to mirror his actions, pressing his lips against the curve of his mouth, the sound of it matching their rapid heartbeat. They become bolder after a while, catching each others lips in their own and hunting their shallow sighs. Mingi's hand finds Yunho's hair, gently carding through it.   
Eventually they part, blushing furiously and feeling more alive than ever.   
"I've never kissed a man before", Yunho admits.   
"Me neither", Mingi chuckles back.  


~ 

  


They promised each other to meet at the tavern when Mingi finds the time to, so Yunho buys some herbs, makes potions again and reopens. He stops selling "Happiness" and decides to eat less jam but more cheese in the morning. A lot of things changed for him in the past months.  


The first time Mingi steps by is at 11pm, when Yunho is just about to close the tavern. He spots a red mop of hair first, then there's Mingi‘s toothy smile.   
It's been two weeks since their first kiss and even though Yunho wants to pepper him in kisses here and now he knows that it would be stupid to do so in public. The world isn't ready to know about them yet, probably never will.   
So he leads Mingi into the tavern and upstairs to his room. Mingi inspects it with great interest, turns every book and plant, until Yunho interrupts him.   
"I thought you came here for me, not for my room", he complains with no bite.   
The redhead turns to face him, his grin outshining the moonlight. He walks closer to the other male, who is now gulping nervously, surprised by the sudden confidence.   
Then Mingi's hands find his neck and pull him into a kiss, which results into them hungrily making out on Yunho's bed. Yunho can only describe it as thrilling to let his hands roam over a man's body, especially one so perfect as Mingi's, hard muscles and smooth skin aching for his touch. Mingi is just as eager in return: His fingers find it's way under Yunho's shirt first, leaving trails of sinful warmth all along Yunho's body. Everything is overwhelming and burning, his arousal evident way too soon, and Mingi laughs at him.   
"You think I'm really hot, right?", he cheekily asks him. Yunho responds with open mouthed kisses all over Mingi's neck and enjoys the way the male squirms under him.   
"You can't leave marks", Mingi reminds him as Yunho gently nibbled on his creamy skin, making him release the flesh.  


They aren‘t going to tak about the situation yet. It is evident for both of them that they want whatever they had right now, but at what costs? Mingi had a wife, parents and friends that cared about him, Yunho on the other hand didn't. Yet he would never pressure the redhead to leave all this behind just for him. How could he?   
"She is out of town for two days, some cooking competition. Couldn't go with her because of my job", he informs Yunho while pressing a kiss to his collarbone.   
"So, uhm, do you want to stay over?"   
Once again, Mingi's lips break into a bright smile.   
"Sure."  


~

  


They spend the rest of the night with cuddles, kisses and chatter. Yunho can't believe how right everything feels, it has never been like this for him before. Although he has so many worries about their future he is simply too happy to face them yet and he also doesn't care enough to bring them up. Mingi doesn't mention his wife again as well, so they just forget that anything except them exists.  


By eating breakfast together Yunho gets to know that Mingi loves jam but hates cheese, he normally eats omelette, the only thing he's able to cook himself.   
"Everything else is a damn mistery to me."  
Yunho thinks that it might be useful if at least one of them knows how to cook, so he plans to get cooking lessons somehow.   
"I gotta go to work. See you later?", he asks while leaving a kiss on Yunho's brow, making him giggle.   
"Alright."   
Just as he's about to leave the tavern Yunho holds him back.   
"What do you even work as?"   
Mingi looks surprised.   
"Oh, I'm a merchant."  


~ 

  


"How did your parents react?"  
"Not that good, they think it's important for a man to have many children early, but they like that I want to concentrate on my career more right now, and so does my wife. She is a pretty good cook and will get recognised more if she keeps going on competitions."   
Mingi takes Yunho's hand in his own and plays around with his fingers. It is quite obvious that Mingi has a thing for his hands, while Yunho likes to peck his nose or touch his wide shoulders.   
They fall into a comfortable silence for a while. It is easy to be like this, pretending to be without a care in this world, having only each other to mind. Maybe they will grow tired of each other sometime in the future or get frustrated about not being able to show their love in public. Or the child - problem will reappear, but they try not to think about it too much.  


Yunho hosts himself about on his arm, facing Mingi.   
"How did you realize that you like men?"   
"I never liked women. My friends always talked about how sexy some women were when all I could think about was a man's arms."   
He chuckles when Yunho flexes his arm jokingly.   
"How did you find out? Through missing me?"   
"I don't want to give you the satisfaction to know but actually, yes. I have never been particularly interested in women as well, sleeping with them was not... Not right, you know?", he tries to explain himself.   
"And how did you know that I wasn't just a friend to you?", Mingi asks while kissing Yunho's bare chest over him.   
"I thought you were handsome at the beginning, then I found you attractive. Do you remember the day you mentioned your wife for the first time?"   
Mingi nods under him. Yunho feels his warm hands on his back.   
"I was devastated without knowing why. Shouldn't you be happy for your friend?, I asked myself until I believed that I do feel happy for you."  
The redhead licks over a spot close to his bellybutton and suddenly bites down on it. Yunho takes a sharp breath. Even though he isn't allowed to leave any traces on Mingi the redhead loves to mark him. He had to hide several hickeys in the last weeks.   
"Can I go further down?" Mingi asks with an uncertain voice, fearing to have gone to far. And sure, Yunho turns beet red as he gets a vague idea of what Mingi is proposing, but watching Mingi bite his lip out of nervousness and curiosity makes him nod.  


Yunho doesn't regret allowing Mingi to take their relationship to the next level. Feeling Mingi squirm around him in pleasure, quietly moaning his name, was one of the best experiences he has ever had. No woman has ever made him feel things like Mingi did.  


The potion seller makes sure to not collapse on the worn-out Mingi under him and let's himself fall to his right instead. Mingi looks at him with tenderness and euphoria in his eyes, sweaty hair sticking to his forehead, and Yunho can't help but smile.   
"So, was I - did you -"   
The redhead interrupts him with a low chuckle.   
"You were amazing, Yunho."  
His heart does at least ten thousand flips in his chest, making him think it might want to break out from his chest so it can hug Mingi itself.   
He leans forward shortly to press a kiss on Mingi's nose before letting himself fall back into the soft cushions of his bed.  


~

  


Half a year passes and things change again. Mingi's wife stays at home more often now, which means that he has to do so as well. Autumn arrives in the town and makes the nights colder than before, especially without Mingi. He has gotten used to him warming up his bed and making omelette in the morning.   
Now, Mingi visits him only once every second week. He wishes that he could see him work, visit him at least one time, but he can't do that. Nobody can ever find out about them.   
Sometimes he wakes up before Mingi does and watches his back raise and lower. It's covered in scratches again.   
He scoots closer to his boyfriend and spreads kisses over every single scratch in an act of jealousy. These should be his marks, the skin of the man only he should be able to leave his signature on, but there he is, sharing him with another woman. Thinking like this is unfair to Mingi, he is fully aware of that, however, he finds it harder and harder to live like this. He may have to hide his love towards the younger anyways, yet it was a totally different story to share him.   
Mingi stirrs awake from all the kisses and drags Yunho's arm over his own body to lead his hand to his mouth, greeting him with a sweet kiss on his knuckles.   
"Good morning."  


One night Mingi comes to him with love bites covering his neck. The jealousy resurfaces, forming a angry and boiling ball inside of him. This night he is a bit rougher than he normally is, which Mingi actually doesn't mind that much, but now even the oblivious redhead knows that something is going on.   
"Does something bother you?"   
"No, why?"   
"Yah, I'm stupid but not blind. Now tell me", he demands with a cute pout.   
The pout makes Yunho lower his walls a little. Damn Mingi and his cuteness.   
Nevertheless, he really doesn't want to tell his boyfriend. It would only pressure him into doing something he may not wants to do, not even for Yunho. How could he ever expect Mingi to leave his friends and family behind just so they could be together for some time? They could break up in a month, a year, maybe longer, but in the end they would part.   
Yunho can't imagine it though. Even if they leave each other, how would one of them ever find someone new to love?   
He thinks about the question for some time.   
The answer is quite easy:  
They can't.  
So even if Mingi decides to go away with him, he'd never be truly free. And that's what Yunho really wants him to be, looking at all the visible and hidden marks on him.  


So instead of following Mingi's demands he tousles through his red hair and turns around, his back facing Mingi.  
"Yunho, please tell me", Mingi whines and scoots closer to his boyfriend. As he doesn't answer, Mingi blows into Yunho's ear obnoxiously, making him squirm under his bedsheets.   
"I don't want to talk about it and stop blowing in my goddamn ear", he responds angrily because Mingi is totally aware of the fact that he even hates it when Mingi breaths to close to his earshells.  
"No need to be so bitchy about it, I just wanted to help."  
"Listen, I appreciate yor concern, but -"  
"No, you don't."   
"What?"  
Mingi looks at him, anger and frustriation rising in his bones. He is a very passionate person, showering Yunho with love when he feels like it, laughing so hard that every other sound drowns in it, but he also gets riled up easily.   
"You never tell me about what's on your mind", he complains.   
"That's not true."  
"Okay, sometimes you do, but never when it includes your problems. A relationship isnt't just about laughing and having sex and sleeping next to eachother, it's about supporting your boyfriend and having someone to lean on in return."  
Yunho snorts.  
"You sound like a wise, old man."  
He earns a weak slap on his arm in response.  
"Don't ignore what I said. You help me all the time, let me do this for you at least."  
Now Yunho does turn around.   
"When did I help you?“  
„You do remember that you saved me from getting a scar through a burn, right?“  
„I let you pay for it!“  
„That‘s not the point“, Mingi argues, „ this has been the only place where I didn‘t constantly felt like shit, even before we started being friends. No one here knew who I really was and started to talk about my wife or my work, which I fucking hate. Sure, the potion has been fake, but I felt happy because of it. Now I don‘t need it anymore, since I have you. You could say this is my safe haven or something. Where I can be myself and being loved for it.“  
Yunho later swears that he didn‘t tear up in this exact moment, while Mingi insists that he did.  
„I never said that I love you though.“  
For the second time this day Mingi rolls his eyes.  
„But I love you, that‘s why I show up here as often as I can.“  
A smile makes it‘s way up to Yunho‘s lips. His heart is thumping in a suprisingly slow and steady beat, making him believe that he probably already knew. 

He kisses his boyfriend gently, their lips barely brushing against eachother, just like their first kisses.  
Mingi hums in satisfaction and as they part, he looks up at Yunho, eyes blinking with little stars.  
Then, out of nowhere, his lips form a smirk.  
„Don‘t you wanna tell me that you love me as well?“  
„You know it already.“  
„Yes, but it‘s different hearing it from you.“  
Yunho chuckles slightly.  
„Okay. I love you.“  
The expression on Mingi turns into one of pure bliss and he kicks the blanket excitedly like a little kid.

They kiss some more after that, telling eachother sweet little nothings, simply in order to make the other happy. And Yunho wants to forget about his worries and jealousy, because it is the first time they told eachother the three magical words and he wants to treasure the moment, extract it from time and fill it into a flask to drink it up when he‘s sad.  
But, stubborn as Mingi is, the redhead won‘t let go of the issue.  
„Now, you just have to tell me what worries you and the day will be perfect.“  
„Mingi, I told you that I won‘t“, he answers with a sigh.  
„Why? You just said that you love me, so you want me to be happy, right? I can‘t be if we aren‘t happy together.“  
The potion seller lets himself fall back to his side of the bed with a quiet creak of the bed.  
„It‘s not that easy, Mingi.“  
„It‘s not that hard either.“  
He shrubs his face in frustration.  
„Can‘t we just go to sleep please?“  
Suddenly the bed squeaks again as weight lifts itself from it.  
„How often do we have to discuss this shit until you finally let me in?“, Mingi asks while putting on his pants.  
„Wait, where are you going?“  
„Are you hiding something from me?“  
„What? What could I possibly hide from you?“  
„I don‘t know. Maybe you found someone else and are too scared to tell me?“  
Deep down inside him he knows that Mingi doesn‘t actually believe what he said, that he only said it to make him snap, because thats just how Mingi is.  
It‘s still so ridiculous that Yunho has to think abot his words twice before being able to fully understand.  
„Are you kidding me? We are gay, how am I supposed to find anyone else besides you?“  
Mingi throws his jacket over his shoulders and refuses to face at him.  
„And look who‘s talking!“  
He grabs Mingi by his wrist and pulls him down. Then he points at the love bites on his neck.  
„I‘m not the one who‘s fucking someone else.“

Mingi‘s eyes widen in shock.  
And Yunho knows that he fucked up real bad this time.

„Do you think I do this for pleasure? Because I like sleeping with her?“  
He escapes Yunho‘s grip .  
„You knew what you were getting into when you wanted to be my boyfriend.“  
Yunho shakes his head truthfully.  
„No, I didn‘t.“  
And he really didn‘t. It probably wouldn‘t have affected his decision because living without Mingi was worse than seeing him only once a week, but he couldn‘t possibly have prepared for all the jealousy, loneliness and even pain that came with being with the redhead.  
Mingi looks at him, expression speaking of fury and hurt, then he just turns around and leaves.  
Yunho is too proud to run after him.

~

Three days pass and Mingi doesn‘t show up. Yunho would do the first step if necessary,but since he neither knows where Mingi lives nor where he works he doesn‘t know how.

His opportunity to do so shows up a week later.  
„Hello, are you the owner of this tavern?“, a high voice asks him as he is busy putting glasses and flasks in a shelf behind the counter.  
He turns around to find a tiny woman standing in front of him. She has big, round eyes, matching her slightly chubby face and cute nose. Her hair must be longer than his arm length, it falls down her back in elegant waves.  
„Yes, I am!“, he answers quite startled. Women are a rare sight in his tavern (just as in every other tavern) because no man with all his senses would bring a woman into a tavern full of drunk men. Sure, Yunho doesn‘t sell alcohol, but it‘s still too dangerous. Especially at a late hour like this.  
Even more suprising is the fact that the woman seems to be alone.  
He looks around the room to figure out whether her company is sitting at one of his tables already but no one seems to pay closer attention to her.  
„So, how can I help you?“, he asks her with a smile.  
„Uhm, I wanted to ask if you know my husband? His name is Song Mingi“, she answers in that high-pitched voice that makes his ears ring.  
He freezes for a second. „So, this is Mingi‘s wife“, is his first thought, before he breaks into panic. Why did she come here? Did she somehow find out about him and the redhead? They were so careful, did someone spy on them? What will happen to him? He has heard about some horrorstories of gay men being burned alive like witches and remembers with shame that he once thought that this was the right way to punish them. Get rid of them.  
„Yes, I do“, he gets out, his voice shivering with fear.  
„Do you…“, she sighs and lets herself fall down on one of the stools.  
„I don‘t know what I‘m even doing here. This was a bad idea.“  
He watches her laying her head on the counterboard.  
„I know that he comes here once in a while and it would be totally fine with me if he wouldn‘t try to hide it from me! Tell me, what‘s your name?“  
„Jeong Y-Yunho.“  
„Jeong Yunho, does he meet other women here?“  
She looks at him, full of desperation to know.  
„I-“  
The world must be kidding him. There is no way that she suspects Mingi to cheat on her with a woman, while she talks with the person Mingi is actually cheating with.  
„N-No. He doesn‘t. I think he comes here often to meet friends, he brought Yeosang along once“, her face lits up as she hears the name of Mingi‘s friend. So she must recognize it, „and he‘s a good friend of mine as well.“  
„Oh really? I‘m so relieved. Thank you for telling me.“  
She really does sound grateful.  
While being with Mingi, he has often thought about his wife, but never about her perspective of things. The only thing he considered was how Mingi must feel living a life he doesn‘t want, maybe he even condemned her.  
He was wrong. She seems to be so nice and caring. How must she have felt, thinking that her husband cheated on her? Being lonely so often, waiting for Mingi to come back home?  
Yunho pities her. He might not know her well but he knows that no one deseves to be treated like this.  
The lies have to end, for the sake of all of them.

They talk a lot. While her voice really is annoying, he starts to like her. He finds out that her name is Shana and while she listens when he tells her about his business, he listens to her talking about her work and Mingi in return. Turns out Mingi behaves quite differently being around her.  
„I know that he‘s very shy so I‘m glad that he found more friends like you.“  
He has always considered Mingi as one oft the most outgoing persons he ever met.  
„Did he tell you that I‘m a chef?“  
„Yes, he brought me your soup once. It was the best I ever had.“  
She smiles at him, blushing hard.  
„Oh my, no need to exaggerate. I‘m glad that you liked it though. Why don‘t you visit us someday? I‘d like Mingi to know that he doesn‘t have to hide his friends from me and that I‘m fully able to have a conversation with them as well. Plus, I can cook something for you.“  
„Thank you for the offer. I‘d love to come“, he says without hestitation.

~

Although he was very confident while agreeing to visit them, he can‘t help but shiver in fear as he stands in front of the door. The house of the Song‘s was the biggest he was about to enter (which weren‘t that many) ever. Mingi has gladly already told him that his wife‘s family is very rich, so he could wear something appropiate. On the other hand there was a chance that he might have overdone it in his nervousness but he really wanted to look good and he is sure that he achieved at least this.

He knocks at the door. He‘s exactly in time, 6pm. The potion seller has had closed his tavern a bit earlier than he normally does but he doesn‘t mind at all.  
The door opens shortly after the knock, presenting him Mingi‘s wife, who also dressed up for this occasion.  
„Good evening“, she greets him and walks out of the doorframe to let him in. He returns the greeting and compliments her on her dress, whereupon she blushes madly and tells him that Mingi has bought it for her. It comes out that Mingi has a great intererst in fashion.

Mingi steps into the room as well, looking curious at first, before he recognizes Yunho and stares at him in utter shock, leaving his mouth agape.  
Shana giggles.  
„I told him that we‘d have a guest for dinner, but not who it was“, she informs Yunho. He isn‘t sure whether this is a good thing or not.  
The redhead isn‘t able to speak any coherent sentence at first so he simply fakes the fakest smile Yunho has witnessed on anyone and greets him politely.  
His wife takes the initiative to speak after Yunho greets him back.  
„I‘ll bring you to the table, tell me if you need anything.“  
She takes him to the dining room, which he has to cross two other rooms for. All of them have a very elegant look to it: Bright walls with many lights, dark, wooden furniture any a lot of flowers and gold everywhere. The rooms weren‘t as big as he expected them to be but they also weren‘t that wealthy after all.

Half the table is already loaded with dishes. He has no idea how they are supposed to eat it all of this but as Mingi catches his panicked look he shakes his head.  
„She made more today because she‘s out of town tomorrow, so I just have to heat it up“, he explains. He leads Yunho to his chair and pulls it back for him to sit. The gesture probably would have made him blush if it wasn‘t for Shana to be in the same room as them. Then Mingi takes his seat opposite from him. The last plate was placed on Mingi‘s left side.  
Yunho would‘ve preferred to sit there.  
Shana only leans on her chair shortly.  
„I hope you don‘t mind that I invited him over, Mingi. I have to admit that I suspected you of cheating and followed you to his tavern twice and decided to find out on my own“, she says in an apologetic tone. Before he could answer her she continues:  
„I met Yunho and he told me that you two are friends. You should know that I really want to understand why you were hiding all this from me, but I‘ll put this to the side now so we can enjoy dinner, okay?“  
She leans down to kiss him on the forehead. Yunho‘s stomach drops.  
„I still have some things to do in the kitchen but you both can start with eating“, she says.  
„Oh, no, we‘ll wait for you“, Yunho decides and looks up to her with a smile.  
Shana chuckles and nods before she leaves.

Mingi doesn‘t look at him. His gaze is fixed on the plate in front of him, as if he‘d wish to be somewhere far, far away.  
Yunho asks himself where Mingi wishes to be.  
„I miss you“, he whispers across the table. It seems to fall on deaf ears.  
„What I said was wrong. I said it because I was angry and jealous and too proud to run after you. I‘m sorry, Mingi.“  
„Why are you here?“, Mingi asks while still staring at his plate.  
„I didn‘t know how to reach out to you otherwise. And I kew that you wouldn‘t reach out to me first because you are so, so stubborn.“  
The redhead smirks.  
„And I hold grudges.“  
„And you hold grudges, yes.“  
The smirk disappears as if he just got exhausted of doing it.  
„You can‘t stay here. This is...Wrong. It‘s just wrong.“  
„It‘s just as wrong that you have to be here.“  
„This is how my life is.“  
„But it doesn‘t have to be this way. You could live with me. Spend your days in our house and eat my hardly edible dishes.“  
Mingi shakes himself to look up at Yunho‘s eyes.  
„Would you like to do it? Being with me, for real this time?“  
It takes a second or more for him to answer. Yunho doesn‘t know what he‘ll do when Mingi says no. Thousand scenarios of Mingi refusing this life storm through his mind, every single one hurting him a little more.  
Whe he answers, his voice shakes in fear. The fear of everything falling apart suddenly, getting ripped into pieces. His life is in Yunho‘s hands the moment he decides -  
„Yes.“  
\- and he trusts him.

~

„I‘ll bring him outside“, Mingi informs Shana after they have eaten and talking for approximately three hours.  
„Thanks again for inviting me. I don‘t know what you do to make the food so delicious but everyone who has the honor to taste it must have completely new standards for good food now“, Yunho tells her jokingly.  
„Stop making me blush, I don‘t know how to react to so many compliments on one day.“  
„I compliment your food every day“, Mingi intervenes with an adorable pout.  
„Yes, but it‘s not that special anymore when you hear it so often from the same person.“  
„Well, then no compliments anymore, I guess.“  
„Hey, calm down, it was just a joke!“, she exclaims with a laugh and then turns to Yunho once again.  
„Have a good night, Yunho. It was nice having you.“  
„Thanks again. I wish you a nice night as well.“  
She makes her way up the stairs to her and Mingi‘s shared bedroom. They have shown him all rooms earlier.

The moment they step out of the doorframe Mingi closes the door behind them and Yunho presses him against it, kissing him hungily. The readhead returns the action just as eagerly, his hands roam over Yunho‘s back as he whispers:  
„You look so fucking hot today.“  
Yunho chuckles in response.  
„You‘ve never called me hot before.“  
„Then it was about time that I did.“  
They continue to let their hands and lips explore, not caring about the fact that they were openly showing their love for eachother in public, where just anyone could walk past them. Luckily, no one does.  
„We could buy a ship. Sail over the sea like you always wanted“, Yunho suggests.  
„Okay. Let‘s do that. We‘ll have enough money if we pay together.“  
„I‘ll find a good one. We can go after you sorted everything out with your parents and yor wife.“  
Mingi looks at him, annoyed.  
„I won‘t sort anything out. They don‘t need to know.“  
Yunho sighs and lovingly cups his face with his hands.  
„You can‘t do this to them. All the things they did were in order to make you happy, they didn‘t know better. Deep down you know that they don‘t deserve this.“  
„...They will hate me.“  
„It doesn‘t matter anymore, remember? I am with you, always.“  
„I love you.“  
„Love you too.“

~

Next time Mingi shows up is with all of his belongings packed in bags.  
„Let‘s go“, he tells Yunho, his smile outshining the sun.  
And Yunho gladly obeys, his bags filled with all necessities as well. 

Mingi changed many things. Everything, to be exact. But he likes to believe that he changed Mingi‘s life just as much and that Mingi is happy.

**Author's Note:**

> This took me ~3 days to write without counting all the beta-ing and doing the playlist. I waited for my sis to read the story and correct it because I‘m still insecure about my English. All in all I've probably worked on this for a week. At some point a problem accured: I normally write on my phone on the wattpad app but after maybe 7k words there was a super long relay between the letters I typed and the time when they appeared so I wanted to continue on wattpad with my laptop. Well, I tried, but the formation was completely different to the one I had on my phone and every time I clicked the 'Enter'-Button it skipped a whole row? So, after several attempts of fixing this I decided to copy everything and continue to write on my laptop's writing app, which was fine, except for the " appearing first down and then up, not both up (down-up is the German way to use them). I found no way to change this but also didn't want to rework the whole story so I just ignored it. I explained this in case you were wondering why the " change throughout the story.
> 
> Btw and I know that this is super random but I just found out that Atiny‘s birthday is on my actual birthday, along with some other Idols I stan (Yugyeom of Got7 and Eric Nam) lol. Are there Idols that share their birthday with you?


End file.
